Guide to Lesbian Dating For the Newly Out Lesbian
It’s tough being the new lez on the block. Not only is this still a man’s world, but it’s also powered by heterosexual societal norms that are difficult to break. Luckily, every single one of us was fresh out of the closet at some point, lost in the sea of blurred choices and possibilities that somehow always seemed to elude us.
Fear not because you’re in good hands. Not that long ago I was a lez newbie myself, and have first-hand information on what goes on behind the closed doors you so desperately want a key for. And I have tips for you to get it!
First off, let me say I want to focus on local dating because you need to feel comfortable on your home turf first before you embark on a journey of conquering someone else’s territory. Not that gay women are as territorial as cats, but you know, you should have your ‘hood in the palm of your hand first, a place where you’ll feel the most like yourself. A safe haven, if you will, and here are my tips on how to get there.
#1: Befriend A Lesbian
Gay or straight, women like to be pursued, and love a challenge. If it’s too easy, something’s wrong with it. If it’s secret, hidden deep in the underworld, and available only to those “in the know”, then that’s what we want! And yes, that’s what the lez dating scene is like, too. Therefore, your first step towards getting your foot through the door of those oh-so-super-exclusive-because-we’re-so-special lesbian bars and clubs is getting yourself a gay wingwoman “in the know”!
Now is the time to talk to that weird dyke cousin of yours who’s been openly gay since high school, and knows all the nooks and crannies of the lesbian underworld. She or someone like her could introduce you to the local lesbian dating scene where you’ll take your first baby lesbian steps.
#2: Start Dating As Yourself
Your next step is to start going out on dates as yourself. This doesn’t just mean as a person who’s finally free from the constraints of a dark and dusty closet, but it also means as the person you truly are.
If a button down shirt is your go-to piece for a night out, make sure you wear it on a date. If you’d rather be feminine and sensual, go as a lipstick lesbian. The choice is yours; just keep in mind that women love authenticity, and the more original you are, the better, as long as you allow your true self to shine.
#3: Girl-on-Girl Sex is Easy!
Boys are super easy to seduce, while trying to keep one is a whole different ball game. You feel the chemistry, the heat is there, and everything feels right, and you go and sleep with him too soon, and bam – out the door he goes…never to return.
With girls, however, things are much easier in that department. Lesbians will never slut-shame you for sleeping with them on the first date because what would that make them?! If you feel the butterflies in your stomach and you want to go for it, do it! And forget about worrying whether she’d call the next day or think you were too easy. So was she!
Trust your intuition, and let it take you places you’ve never gone before.
Awesome! Definitely some food for thought here, and these are perfect dating tips for the LGBT crowd.
Thank you, Dating Connections, for this great advice on lesbian romantic relationships! ♥♥♥
Guest Blogger Bio
Dating Connections is a site that offers the opportunity for you to explore a variety of dating tips, previous relationship experiences and interact with other people!
Thanks again! We hope to see you back on ILRB sometime.
As always, happy reading, everyone! 😉