Tag Archives: spontaneity

Special Feature: What Does Romance Mean to Me? by Debbie White

Hi, readers! I am beyond pleased to announce a very special post today on ILRB. Recently, I asked both authors and romance readers to come to me with their responses to this big question: “What Does Romance Mean to Me?” I was genuinely interested in what made us all tick, what continued to draw us to the genre. Why do we love “love” so much? I wanted to dig deep into the heart of each person. And I’ve gotten some incredible feedback. Today is next post in this series.

So, without further ado, let’s turn the mic over to author Debbie White, who has a few things to say about the question at hand.

When I was asked if I’d like to participate in Marie’s theme of what romance meant to me, I was hoping I could truly make it work with my schedule. After all, I am a romance writer. As I sat and contemplated with my hands positioned on the keyboard ready to type away, I realized that romance is more about the journey for me than an actual moment or incident. I’ll explain.

Just as in my romance books, the couple doesn’t start off being romantic. They build up to it.  They meet, they talk, they gather information that leads them to their next step in the romantic dance.

Romance, for me, is the same way. We just celebrated our 42nd wedding anniversary. That’s a big deal, especially in today’s throw-away world. It hasn’t always been easy. Oh, heck no. We got married young and so financial worries were always front and center. Back then, romance was probably kissing and well…you know the other stuff young people do. Then we had a family and life got pretty busy. After taking care of babies all day, exhausted and often falling into bed with my clothes on, romance was the last thing on my mind. As the kids got older, we seemed to be even busier if that was possible. Often it was while lying in bed with our eyes shut, resting from the day’s work, that we’d snuggle and talk.

During those years, romance was probably more about celebrating anniversaries with a nice dinner out.

Then we fast forward to our soon to be retired years. We’re empty nesters now and have a few more pennies to our name. We still find time to be romantic – we have more free time, that’s for sure. But for me, romance is about remembering me with a thoughtful gesture or an unexpected bouquet of flowers or taking me out to dinner at the spur of the moment – no special day to celebrate, just celebrating each other. Or when he tries his hand at cooking dinner and even sets the table with candles and flowers, or when he surprises me with a thoughtful gift – just out of the blue. These are the romantic moments that make up our journey and what ultimately romance means to me.

And the two things we’ve done from the very beginning of our life together have been to start the day with a kiss and words of wishes for a great day, and end the day with a kiss and I love you. It’s worked for 42 years and no matter how angry, upset or tired we are, we always make sure we say and do this little ritual. Even at four in the morning when he’s leaving for his long commute to the city, he doesn’t leave the bedroom before kissing me and telling me he loves me. Sometimes my reply is a mumble, but I always let him hear those words from me before he starts his day.

Romance can be different things to different people, but for me, it’s the regular and mutual showing of appreciation and caring every day and not just on special days.

Very true! You made some great points there. Oh, and Happy Anniversary! 🙂
Thanks for stopping by with your heartwarming guest post, Debbie! Lovely to have you here! ♥
Guest Bio

Debbie currently lives in northern California where the jagged coast meets rolling hills dotted with vineyards. When she’s not writing the next best-selling romance novel, she’s spending time with her family, traveling, wine tasting and anything to do with the outdoors.

Wait, we’re not quite finished!

So, I put the question to you as a reader today as well. What does the word ‘romance’ really mean for you? Is ‘romance’ a driving force in your life? How have your beliefs about romantic relationships informed your own relationships? Perhaps seeing other couples (parents or friends) were some kind of influence. By reading romance novels, does that help to reaffirm things for you?


If you’d like to participate in this special feature, please contact me at marieannlavender@gmail.com and I’ll schedule a spot for you. As you can tell from the schedule on the right hand side of the page, we’re getting booked fast, but don’t hesitate to join in! You do not need to be a writer or author. We want to hear from anyone. We’d love to get your take on how you feel about romance, and why you keep reading our books! ♥♥♥ 


Thanks again, Debbie, for giving us your take on what romance itself has come to mean to you. Beautiful! 😀

Readers, stay tuned for our next special feature on this topic when author Lashanta Charles visits us on April 27th! Yay! 🙂

We’ll have other posts before then, though.

Have a great week, everyone!


Filed under Authors, Blogging, Books, Event, Fiction, Guest Writer, Love, Message, Readers, Romance

Top 5 Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship: a guest post by Dating Connections

Top 5 Ways to Spice Up Your Relationship


It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a significant other from your own town, someone from your society, or if you’re dreaming of an interracial romance, we’re all actually looking for that special someone who will share a lifetime with us. Being in a serious, long-term relationship is amazing because it comes with many different perks. Regular sex, comfort, loyalty, and support. However, when two people are together for a long time, sometimes things can get a little predictable. There’s nothing wrong about that; serious relationships are drama-free, most of the time, but that predictability can damage a relationship. Especially if the couple doesn’t do anything to mix things up a bit. So, in order to help all the serious couples out there, here are the top five ways to spice up your relationship and keep the fire burning.

  1. Find New, Exciting Activities You Can Do Together

Laying around the house, watching countless TV shows and movies together is a perfectly good plan, but sometimes you need to change things up a bit. You don’t want to fall into the same routine every day because if this happens, your relationship may end pretty soon. So, instead of Netflix and chill, you should throw in a few different activities in the mix. It doesn’t have to be anything special and extraordinary; any kind of outdoor activity would be nice. You could travel together, take hikes and explore nature. These lovely activities will definitely make you feel more alive and that’s always good for a long-term relationship.

  1. Bring Back The Romance

It may sound cheesy, but romance is actually an extremely important part of every long relationship. People usually don’t get that, so they simply stop being romantic after a first few months of the relationship. Remember, you need to stay romantic even after the honeymoon phase is over. However, if you haven’t been romantic for years, there’s no need to panic because romantic gestures are not that complicated. You can take your significant other to a romantic dinner, wine tasting, or a lovely romantic getaway. If this is too much for you, there are always those “small”, everyday gestures like presents, flowers and sentimental cards.  Make romance your daily routine and your relationship will flourish in no time.

Created by Teksomolika – Freepik.com

  1. Don’t Plan Everything, Be More Spontaneous

When two people spend two or three years together, it’s only natural for them to stop being spontaneous at some point, but that’s not a good sign. Of course, planning your dates and everyday activities is important, but sometimes you need to cut loose, footloose, kick off your Sunday shoes! In order to spice things up in your relationship, you simply need to be adventurous and spontaneous. This is the only way you’ll be able to surprise each other. So, don’t wait for the weekend. Take your partner dancing in the middle of the week. Go crazy!

  1. Role Playing In The Bedroom

Although it’s not the most important part of a relationship, sex is definitely one of the crucial aspects of a couple’s life. At the beginning of every relationship, sex is rather hot and steamy. You’re exploring one another and that is extremely exciting. However, after a few years, sex life usually becomes a routine. In order to prevent this from happening to your relationship, you need to spice things up in bed. Role playing is definitely the best way to do so since both of you will be able to pretend to be someone else. A break from reality is always a good thing.

Hannamariah, Big Stock Photo.

  1. Get Naughty In New Places

The bedroom is not the only place for sex; always remember that. Surroundings play a rather important role when it comes to making love with your partner. Having sex in your own bed or on a sofa in the living room is hot, but making love in a different place will definitely get your blood flowing. You can try out the kitchen floor, a hotel room, backseat of your car, or you can go on a very hot camping trip, just the two of you. Having sex in nature is an amazing feeling.


True! I think sometimes we all need tips on sparking more romance in our lives.

Thank you, Dating Connections, for this great advice about romantic relationships.

Guest Blogger Bio

Dating Connections is a site that offers the opportunity for you to explore a variety of dating tips, previous relationship experiences and interact with other people!


Website:  http://datingconnections.org/

Blog:  http://datingconnections.org/category/blog/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/datingconnections/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/DatingConnect

Google+:  https://plus.google.com/u/0/101423157749445118069


Thanks again! We hope to see you back on ILRB sometime. 

As always, happy reading, everyone!  😉


Filed under Blogging, Contemporary, Dating Tips, Guest Writer, Love, Message, Readers, Relationships, Romance