The Eyes of Love by Dr. Matthew Anderson
Romantic love is the every-person’s opportunity to experience divine grace and as such it brings a gift that has numerous (divine) qualities. Grace falls like rain and soaks the heart of one who is then blessed with this love. This grace, this love, brings us a gift of new sight by which we can see the Other, our Beloved, with divine eyes. In this state of heightened awareness, we are able to see our Beloved as she truly is, in all her wonder and beauty, and she, lifted and filled with the same love, can see us as we are. In these sacred moments we no longer see with our natural eyes but with our Heart which is the center of True Sight. It is from this vantage point that all the glory of our lover is revealed to us.
It is the heart’s great desire to be seen this way. It is here that all our doubts about being lovable and valuable drop away. Through the grace-filled eyes of our lover we come to know our best and highest self and are carried up in an intense yearning to rise to, become, reveal and celebrate that awareness. At the very same instant that this self-revelation occurs, we also see our Beloved for who she is in her highest and best self. We want to do everything we can to nurture her and give to her so that she can sustain her precious being.
Romantic love, and its gift of the eyes of love, is not earned and, like rain, it falls on every heart. We cannot choose or cause it but once soaked by its divine dew we can only surrender to its transformative power. If we try to resist we will find ourselves torn into pieces. If we accept our fate, we will be given an experience of wholeness that is worth whatever price love may ask of us. That precious wholeness can only be seen through the eyes of love and it is up to us to nurture and sustain that sight as we love and live with our Beloved.
Every person who has ever fallen in love has had an experience of the eyes of love. But for most, that glorious vision of the Beloved quickly dims and then is only a memory. It is then, too often relegated to an experience of intoxication, and is interpreted as an imagined and unrealistic perception of another person created by the distortive energies of emotion and lust. Many of these same couples yearn to revisit this experience, but both believe that it cannot be revived and lack the skills to reconnect with it. The good news is that the eyes of love need not dim and both partners can learn to sustain and nurture this wonderful vision of the Beloved.
(Author’s Note: Michael and Dianna are real and deeply in love. Every topic in the book is followed by a dialogue between these two lovers and how it affects their relationship.)
Michael and Dianna – Eyes of Love
Michael begins in a very serious and pensive voice.
“I believe very deeply in this idea of the eyes of love. Yes, I used to think, just like everyone else, that it would come and go and I would have no control over it. I would enjoy it while it lasts and then accept its passing. I remember being overwhelmed by my feelings for you and the first time I looked, really looked into your eyes. The intensity was so great I stopped breathing for a moment. It was incredible. I did not expect it. I knew I found you attractive and interesting and all of that but for some reason, I leaned closer to you across the table and bang, lightning struck and my breath disappeared and I fell a rush of wild energy dance all over my body. God, I can feel it right now, Sweetheart. It was like being high but better, far better. And the truth is, I still feel many versions of it when we are together in all sorts of situations. I thought I would only feel it when we were making love or dancing together or in some typical romantic situation, but I was wrong and I am so glad I was wrong. I can really feel that way almost any time I decide to pay attention to you and allow my heart to open and that love dances. That is the best description I can find for the experience. My love dances wildly all through my body and I love you so much I could eat you up!”
Dianna responds as Michael pauses to take a breath.
“Honey, I know I sound like a broken record sometimes but I feel just like you do. Maybe that is one of the great things about this experience. We go so deeply into loving each other that we get in sync and flow together. I love that wild dancing feeling too, Honey. But you got so caught up in your story you forgot the topic. We are talking about the eyes of love. I want to share more about that now. (Michael laughs and nods his head.)
You and I have discussed this idea a hundred times over the years and it has come to be a really important concept for me. Not just because it is a lovely idea but because it actually is real. I do see you, the beautiful you, and I love that person and I can often see how you react to my vision of who you are and can be. You get inspired by it and you live up to it and I think my love for you and the way I see you is a big part of that.”
Michael nods in agreement and picks up the conversation.
“Thanks, Sweetheart. I do want to comment more about this idea. I am convinced that the difficulty for many people is that we don’t trust the way our lover sees us when we fall in love. That phrase ‘love is blind’ is part of the problem. Love is not blind. The truth is actually just the opposite. Love, this sort of love, gives us the ability to see another individual in all their glory and beauty. I remember the statement in the Bible by the Apostle Paul when he said ‘Now I see through a glass darkly but the face to face: now I know in part but then I shall know even as I am also known’. Yes, I know he was not referring to romantic love. He was talking about a relationship with God, but I think his words can also apply to what happens to us when romantic love takes over our hearts. Before it shows up we cannot see the other person for who they truly are, but this love gives us the sight to know, really know, our Beloved and that makes all the difference.
I see you, Dianna, and you see me, in a way no one has ever seen either of us. It is not a fantasy and it is not a form of intoxication. Our minds are not poisoned by love. To even think that is absurd and yet so many people fall prey to that ridiculous idea. I see you, Sweetheart! I see the real you and you are absolutely beautiful. I know you see me the same way. When that occurs, we are both given a tremendously wonderful gift. Maybe it is the greatest gift one person can give another; to see them as so beautiful. I think every person who ever lived yearns for that precious experience; to be truly seen by another person. It is a completely validating event.
Once we are seen this way, we are changed. We do not forget it, ever. And, if that way of being seen is sustained, we begin to grow into that image. We actually fill it out and live up to it and that causes us to be even more grateful for our Beloved because she gave us the gift of becoming the best that we are.
Now, I just want to clarify one more thing if I can. (Dianna nods her agreement.) That special and wonderful being that we see through the eyes of love is not a blueprint, it is the real person that, in a sense, lives in hiding in us behind our negative self-image that so often dominates our self-perception. This negative picture of who we think we are is the true impostor that has fooled us all our lives. Suddenly, with no warning, someone shows up and looks right through that crap and sees our real being, and everything changes. I know this is what happened to us, Honey, and I am so grateful for you and how you see me every single day. You feel the same, don’t you?”
Dianna responds with enthusiasm.
“Yes, Sweetheart, I love how you see me. At first I had a hard time with it. I never thought of myself that way. I mean, you see me as so special and precious and that felt good, but also it felt strange. But then two things happened and keep happening, and they help a lot. You are consistent in your wonderful perception of me, and I see you the same way. It helps a lot that I see you that way because I think it helps me accept your vision of me. I want you to accept how I see you as real, as valid. I love it when you do that, so it makes sense that you would feel the same way. My gift to you is to respect how you see me through the eyes of love. You offer me the same gift. That is how I see all this.”
Michael hugs Dianna and voices his approval.
“Honey, you said it the best! That was it, all in a few words. Thanks! You are great!”
Well, there you have it! How inspiring, and apropos for our blog here! ♥♥♥
Thank you for stopping by to give us your wonderful take on romantic love, Matthew, and a little slice of your new book! 🙂
Readers, for a limited time, you can get a copy of The Resurrection of Romance by our guest, Dr. Matthew Anderson, for only 99 cents! So, pick up your copy today on Amazon! You won’t regret it. 😀
Here is the blurb for the book:
The essential ingredients in a healthy and successful, lasting romantic relationship.
Amazon Universal link: http://bookgoodies.com/a/B01BB5SU2W
Matthew Anderson, D.Min. has been a relationship coach, a motivational speaker and an author for over 40 years. His new book The Resurrection of Romance: How to create and sustain a world class romantic relationship that lasts a lifetime will be available through Kindle on January 30th. He is very much in love with the woman who is his muse and inspiration for the book. Matthew is 70 years old and is in year 4 of a 33 year plan to live to 100+. He lives and works in Boca Raton, Florida.
Amazon Author page: amzn.to/1PPWkr8
Once again, I’d like to thank our guest author for giving us a little romantic encouragement in our lives, and letting us see a bit more about his new book! It was a pleasure having you on the I Love Romance Blog, Matthew! 🙂