There is no better way to spend quality time with your spouse than going on your honeymoon. It is also the only place where you get to reboot and refresh yourself after the stress you have had the past couple of days. You should, however, keep in mind that the only way you will have a great time on your honeymoon is if you plan it well. Here are the seven most ideal approaches to prepare for your honeymoon.
mieun Son, Pixabay
Start planning early
The only way you are going to have an incredible experience is if you start planning your honeymoon months before the due date. That trick is going to help you put everything in place. You also get to have plenty of time making choices and changing reservations if you wish. Saving for your honeymoon also requires you and your spouse to start early. The best honeymoon is one where money doesn’t limit you. It should be something extraordinary that makes you forget about everything else and instead enjoy every moment. That can only happen if you plan early.
Plush Design Studio, Unsplash
Communicate with people
Communication is not the only key to your relationship, but also one of the best ways to ensure you have a remarkable honeymoon. One of the main tips to plan for your honeymoon and make it memorable is to communicate. Don’t book a hotel and assume that you are going to get it all in place. Inform the management that you are newlyweds, confirm what you think might be missing, and ensure they have everything you have on your checklist. Some hotels tend to reserve special rooms for newlyweds to enhance your experience.
Myriam Zilles, Pixabay
Confirm you have your travel documents ready
You might have been too busy planning your wedding that you forget to renew your passport and other travel documents. It is thus essential that you have every travel document ready. These include a travel visa as well as passports. Some countries require you to have certain vaccines before you enter. So do all the research and obtain documents to show you have got the required vaccines. Without travel documents, you may miss your honeymoon, or you may have to go to a local destination. So don’t ruin your honeymoon simply because you did not confirm if you have all the right travel documents.
Nicole Geri, Unsplash
Watch out for special bonuses
Most companies tend to offer exclusive bonuses to newlyweds. That is why you need to communicate, as indicated earlier. You should also take advantage of planning earlier and start looking out for special bonuses. These may be free drinks if you spend a certain amount at the restaurant or free dessert for couples on their honeymoon. Something about special bonuses is that they always help you stay within your spending margin while having a great experience.
Ibrahim Asad, Pixabay
Opt for privacy and not popularity
There are so many fancy places where you can go for your honeymoon and have a great time. But then you need to ask yourself, is the destination private? If yes, then you should proceed. An excellent honeymoon does not require a popular place crawling with people from all walks of life. It instead requires a private and calm place. Somewhere romantic with delicious foods, mouthwatering desserts, and incredible drinks such as Andre champagne. The location should also be quiet with outstanding services. You don’t want to ruin your honeymoon by going to a popular but crowded place where people don’t give you room to enjoy the company of one another.
Federico Giampieri, Unsplash
Come up with an itinerary
The easiest and hardest thing to do is to develop a perfect schedule. You need to come up with a schedule which you are going to stick to. Know which places you plan to visit and for how long. You need to balance between adventure and relaxation for you to have a super lovely honeymoon. The itinerary is also going to ensure that you do or visit every place you have in mind. For as long as you are on your honeymoon, you need to be time conscious.
Jon Tyson, Unsplash
Pack accordingly
Not everyone knows how to pack efficiently. Your honeymoon doesn’t require you to pack too much, but just enough to ensure you have something suitable for every occasion. You need to ensure that you pack light so that you don’t have a hard time maneuvering the streets in your destination. It is one of the ideal ways to plan for your honeymoon. Know the weather on the other end, and use it to plan your outfits.
mohamed_hassan, Pixabay
Those are so far some of the ideal ways to prepare for your honeymoon. This information will help you make the right decision and end up with a memorable honeymoon. Remember to confirm and compare everything from the means of transport you want to use to the hotel you are planning to stay. Doing so will ensure you have no regrets whatsoever.
Such great tips!
Thank you, Rebecca, for this useful article, offering some advice on how to effectively plan a honeymoon… ♥♥♥
Guest Blogger Bio
Rebecca Siggers is a working Designer and passionate writer. She enjoys writing about the latest fashion tips and lifestyle trends all around the globe. Through her writing, she hopes to influence as many people as possible to help out.
It would not be wrong to say that a wedding changes your life completely. We cannot live the same breath as we used to before our wedding. That is why the wedding day is probably the most essential in a person’s life. It is very crucial to keep this day memorable so that we always remember this day in the right words.
Sweet Ice Cream Photography, Unsplash
To do that, we have to plan our wedding in such a way that people love it, and at the same time, your wallet is not hurt.
Hence, get ready to prepare a wedding bouquet as we will show you step by step how to plan a perfect wedding. Make sure you read the full article.
STEPS TO PLAN YOUR WEDDING DAY:
The wedding should be the biggest party that you are ever going to throw. Hence, here we will help you out in planning your biggest day. Please read all the steps. The steps are…
Plan a budget.
Sit with your elder ones & set a wedding budget. Make a particular figure that you can spend on your wedding. While planning a budget, don’t be a miser as well as don’t waste money on useless things. Plan a balanced budget and make your day the most memorable day of your life.
Get unique ideas.
This step can make your wedding a unique one. Search on the internet and find out the ways through which you can plan your wedding. You can get inspiration from weddings on any known celebrities. You can also plan your wedding by getting ideas from Instagram or any other social media.
Create a guest list.
Now again, this point is essential. You should know who and what type of people are coming to your wedding. If you know how many people are coming only, then you will be able to select a suitable venue as well as prepare a proper meal. Without knowing the number of people coming, your wedding will be ruined completely. Hence, create a list and invite only those who are mentioned in that list.
Select a venue.
After you have prepared a balanced budget, you will know what type of venue you should choose. Choose a venue according to the number of people you have invited. While selecting a venue, make sure you pick dates that are suitable for every guest. It is recommended to choose dates which are of holidays because on such days everyone is available. You can find many venues easily online.
Create a wedding website.
It seems odd, but this is the best way to keep your relatives and guests in touch. When you have a wedding website, you will be able to put all the information on that website. The information can be timing, venue, dress code, et cetera. In this way, you will not have to call each guest to inform him/her about the changes that you made in initial plans, but you can put that on your website, and your guest will know about it.
Book vendors.
Vendors are the ones who manage your whole wedding ceremony. It is good to book as many vendors as possible. These vendors will help you out in any way possible. On average, people usually book thirteen to fifteen vendors for each ceremony. Vendors are professionals in their field, and they will make your wedding day a perfect day.
Purchase attire.
For men, don’t rush while selecting perfect attire. Give yourself time to choose what is best for the best day. Make sure you look better than any other guy on your wedding day. You need to be the MVP of that day & your attire is the only thing that will make you MVP. Hence, make sure to spend the right amount of time in this step.
Finalize the meal.
Whether it is lunch or dinner, decide this as soon as possible. Make a rough list of meals and show them to catering agencies. The number of meals should be according to the number of guests.
Plan your honeymoon.
Don’t wait till the wedding ends, or you will never be able to plan your honeymoon. Set up your honeymoon with the wedding plan. It is good to go on a honeymoon right after the wedding. Plan your honeymoon destinations, reserve hotels, and book tickets.
Enjoy Pre-Wedding events.
There are many events that you can enjoy before the primary wedding day. In our culture, we usually celebrate a bridal shower, bachelor party, and many more. Make sure you attend all of these events as a guest of honor.
Get the marriage license.
Now, this is the most crucial step in the whole guide. If you want to marry legally, then attend to the matter of a marriage license. Every country and every state has different laws in this regard. Make sure to read all these laws before applying for the marriage license. In some states, a marriage license takes some time. So, ask for it before planning venues and everything.
Get married!
After all this hard work, enjoy your day and get married. Make your day a memorable day for all. Do everything in your power to make your wedding day the best day of your life.
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Keep so many surprises for your partner on the wedding day to impress her. On the wedding day, make sure to kiss your partner in such a way that you never did before.
Created by Teksomolika – Freepik.com
CONCLUSION
For many people, a wedding day comes only once in life. Live this day and forget everything about the past and future. After you have married, love your partner with the love she deserves. Do everything in your power to keep her happy.
Created by Whatwolf – Freepik.com
Give her surprises, give her gifts, help her in her work, and be there when she needs you to be there. Be a partner that she wants you to be. In any unwanted situation, understand her feelings and don’t get angry.
If you do all of these, your life will be the happiest.
Created by Freepik
Such great tips!
Thank you, Dora, for this useful article, offering some advice on how to plan a wedding… ♥♥♥
Guest Blogger Bio
Dora Potter is from Singapore. She is a wedding planner with exceptional qualities, professionally handling various problems for the success of her projects. Dora ensures to satisfy her customers with her amazing and creative planning skills.
Having know-how on what to wear on a first date might be a difficult task for men sometimes. Most men want to leave a message behind with their time after the rendezvous is over. So, are you still wondering what to wear and impress your first date? No, then you are not the only one. A man having a considerable style quotient can impress his girl with full confidence. But then, if you think too casually to wear something while on your first date, you are very much mistaken.
Free-Photos, Pixabay
It is tough deciding on what to wear on a first date, and there are a couple of fashion glitches men tend to make while dressing. The primary one is not dressing appropriately, and the secondary is over-dressing. The following are six essential fashion tips for your first date so that you do not get all wrong and stand-out as a sorry contender for your next date!
● Look your best
If you plan your first date at a fancy bistro or any pub, prefer going for separates. A crisp and stylish blazer with tailored pants is not a bad idea. But yes, going for your first date in a formal suit is, of course, not recommended. It instead gives the impression that you have just come out of your workplace, and have not much time to spare for your date!
krystian krzewinski, Unsplash
So, your goal for the first date should be a leisurely affair. Be straightforward and sophisticated looking. Many men prefer wearing khakis for their first date, but fashion gurus never recommend that. In recent times, denim is perfectly acceptable in most dating scenarios, barring stylish restaurants, which follow a strict dress code. To look your best, wear basic denim with a dress shirt/t-shirt along with a blazer/sweater, scarf, and a good pair of shoes. You will be the star of the evening.
A little color will take you a long way. Many men choose only black or dress in full black to impress their first date. On similar lines, opting for beige or neutral color will also not do wonders. Too-flashy attire is going to be a big turn-off. Thus, the trick lies in the addition of color in a subtle manner for an attractive, and not-so-serious appearance.
cihan soysakal, Unsplash
Plan to wear a dress shirt or polo shirt along with forest green, maroon, or at least a blue blazer or pullover. Related colors also work well, by merely combining navy-blue with olive-green along with jeans – and you are ready to go! The complementary colors are the right option, but be a bit cautious with the triad colors.
Perfect Dress Shirt
A subtler patterned dress shirt is any day a better choice than a striped one. A striped shirt will only kill your chances of impressing your date. Otherwise, you can always wear a good-looking polo shirt for a casual look and club it tighter with a bomber jacket. Do not let your shirt hang loose. It does not look decent or sober at all. A man looks rather impressive in a tucked-in buttoned-down shirt. It is one of the most straightforward and striking style statement a man can carry always. Right from plain white to chambray and paisley print, you are free to play with various colors, prints, patterns, or textures.
But then, a couple of things are essential – the fitting and the fabric. Keep in mind that your shirt should be slim-fit but not a skinny one. It will then enhance your build, falling squarely on your shoulders and draping in naturally along your torso. Be a true lover of cotton, as this fabric always looks crisp and breathable. Put on a sweater for something extra. A sports jacket also will adjust to the color palette in accordance. Prefer picking lighter tones for the day-time date and dark ones for a night rendezvous.
Footwear
Your footwear has never been so significant, but it depends on your dating venue. And also for a woman, a more trusted man is the one who is wearing the nicest and choicest pair of footwear. Thus, portraying him as a more detail-oriented person in every aspect of his life, right from his official life to personal one. Chiefly, your shoe carries the power to accentuate your whole outfit. A gym shoe is never recommended. Go for a leather dress shoe, from monk to derby brogue, or boots. These variations will fit in a leisurely manner over your denim, dress shirt/t-shirt and sweater. When you select your pair, adhere to the dress codes always, generally linked to your date’s venue. Follow the overall aesthetic, while coordinating your pants to your footwear. You can then go for your comfort.
PublicCo, Pixabay
Be thorough
Convincing your date can always be easy if you pay much attention to the details. Then, you will be the cut above average on your first date. Your entire outfit will speak volumes of your whole personality. But, be careful while pairing your socks! You should never overlook them. Your pair of socks should always depend on the shoe you are planning to wear with your date-night outfit. Short-statured men should always wear the same color socks as their pants. It will aid in giving the illusion of a longer leg while improving the overall silhouette.
Moreover, it too depends on your choice of footwear. A well-dressed man in brogues should always go with a bright-colored sock. And for gym-shoes, tube-socks are just a perfect match.
● Accessorize Manly
cocoparisienne, Pixabay
Apart from your positive self, loaded with humor, dignity, wit, and confidence, you should be presentable in whatever you wear on your first date. Remember that the first date counts every bit. Do not be the man who loves overdoing everything. Try to be simple in accessories, as well.
Pair a nice-looking wristwatch in one hand along with suave-looking beaded bracelets for men, on the other. Be mindful of not choosing a gaudy looking bracelet. The same should complement your dating attire. Also, do not be the one who bathes in cologne but opts for a modern and unique one, which will be successful in creating interest and avoiding a nose-attack!
Given that…
It is not always dependable to be conscious of your looks while going for your first date. But to be presentable and look sophisticated, you should select your attire complementing the other fashion accessories and the dating venue. Never go overboard, as to make the right impact, you have to look grounded and fashionable.
Do not overthink much, as these six fashion tips for men will aid you in deciding what and how to wear on their first date, discussing right from your hair-do to footwear, flattering your time inevitably.
Wow, such great tips!
Thank you, Rebecca, for this useful article, offering some advice for the male perspective on a first date… ♥♥♥
Guest Blogger Bio
Rebecca Siggers is a working Designer and passionate writer. She enjoys writing about the latest fashion tips and lifestyle trends all around the globe. Through her writing, she hopes to influence as many people as possible to help out.
Dating is a part of life that everyone who is old enough goes through. If you want to start dating, you need to know some things that will help you make the right decision.
You can’t assume that just because you like someone that they would be the perfect match for you. Keep in mind that finding the right person is a process.
Make a Positive First Impression
We have all heard the “You make only one first impression” saying. After only five seconds after your date has started, the person will have an impression of you not only because of the way you talk but the way you dress and your body language. A great first impression will help you get the date started and help your relationship in the long run. Building new relationships by making a good first impression is important. Even if you don’t end up together, you can still stay good friends.
Jonathan J. Castellon, Unsplash
How to Leave a Good First Impression on a Date
Yes, some of these tips may seem too obvious, but they are very important.
Dress nice – Put on something comfortable but something that you will look your best in. Make sure you are wearing clean, freshly washed clothes.
Heather Ford, Unsplash
Norwood Themes, Unsplash
Personal grooming – By looking all nice, you are showing your date that you think they are worth making an effort for.
Get to your date on time – If you don’t get to your date on time, you will feel rushed and flustered. That will give off the impression that your time management skills aren’t good.
Don’t be on your phone – It is rude to constantly be checking your phone, texting or playing on your phone while your date is talking to you.
Spencer Davis, Unsplash
Be open – A handshake or kiss on the cheek is an appropriate greeting gesture when you meet.
Freestocks.org, Unsplash
The Importance of Physical Attraction
Many people said that the structure of a person’s face or body, or the person’s smell is the thing that physically attracts them to another person. Men are typically more physically attracted to women with large eyes, a nice smile and long hair. Women are more physically attracted to men that have masculine features. No matter what you like and what your type is, physical attraction is an important part of any relationship.
How Your Physical Appearance Affects Your Date
Care about how you dress.
We all know that people respond more positively to those who smell and look nice. Taking good care of yourself will send a positive message, no matter which outfit you end up choosing for your date. When you are asking yourself what you should wear, you should think about what impression you will give off wearing that outfit.
While you are dressing you need to keep in mind that you should dress like you, and choose an outfit that boosts your self-confidence. Because having confidence is the sexiest thing you can have.
Always smile.
Everybody enjoys being around a person that smiles. There is a real physical attraction that is linked to the act of smiling. It’s no surprise, negative facial expressions like frowning or making grimaces work diversely, like pushing people away. Instead of pushing them away, use the power of your beautiful smile to draw people in.
Speak with your eyes.
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Eye contact is the most powerful stimulator of love and affection we have. When you are looking someone directly in the eyes, their body will produce a chemical called phenyl ethylamine that can make the person on your date fall in love. If you are a woman, you can have beautiful eyelash extensions as a great way to enhance your eyes.
Long eyelashes are the universal symbol of beauty and you will feel more attractive and confident. They don’t require much care and you can simply take them off anytime you want with an eyelash remover.
In the end, your date might not end up being the one, but all that is important is that you have a good time and that you feel comfortable.
Created by Senivpetro – Freepik.com
Wow, such great tips!
Thank you, Maggie, for this useful article, offering some food for thought before going on a date… ♥♥♥
Guest Blogger Bio
Maggie Holmes is a passionate blogger keen on writing about beauty and fashion. Her exclusive hobby is to surf the net to find amazing articles that can inspire her with some fresh ideas for article writing. She loathes being a common person who wastes her time.
Communication is an essential ingredient in any relationship. For couples, rich conversation makes their relationship delicious. It’s what builds connection and creates intimacy. For couples who’ve been together for a while keeping conversations fresh and interesting can take some effort.
Huy Phan, Unsplash
If you want to keep your conversations fresh and avoid telling each other the same stories, one effective solution is to try conversation-starters. By asking a few new questions, you’ll learn there’s always more to discover in the person you love.
Here are several ideas for opening a dialogue that reignites curiosity, affection and interaction:
What’s your earliest childhood memory?
Rene Bernal, Unsplash
Most couples didn’t get to share childhood together, so there’s a wealth of experience just waiting to be tapped for conversation. Asking your partner about an early memory means you get to find out what left an imprint and why. You also gain insight into a part of his or her world that helped shape who your significant other is today.
What do you remember most from our early days of dating?
Here’s a question that can take you both back to your budding love — that place where your connection began.
Created by Teksomolika – Freepik.comCreated by Pressfoto – Freepik.com
Even better, as you listen to your partner recall happy memories, it may surprise you with what’s remembered, not to mention help stir up fresh affection for you both.
Andre Furtado, pexels.com
What’s one of your favorite memories from our wedding day?
Recalling milestones in your relationship is a great way to discuss the happy moments you’ve shared. If you’re married, your wedding day is especially meaningful. Ask your spouse what stands out about that memory and enjoy it from another perspective.
Ivan Cabañas, Unsplash
If you were given the chance to relive one day of your life, what would it be and why?
Maybe your better half would want to revisit a major milestone such as graduation, the birth of a child or your wedding day. Perhaps he or she would like to relive a day with a parent or grandparent who passed away or even an event from high school or college. You’ll never know until you ask.
Karl Fredrickson, Unsplash
Do you have any dreams you wish you could pursue? Are there ways I could help you try them?
Most adults have abandoned dreams still lurking somewhere inside them. Do you know what dream your partner longs to pursue? It could be something outlandish and surprising and you’ll get to be playful and imagine together. Or, it could be practical, such as taking a class, and you can be the encouraging voice to help your partner get right on it.
30daysreplay (PR & Marketing), Unsplash
When was the last time you felt appreciated?
People don’t always verbalize their feelings unprompted. By asking your partner about what has encouraged and affirmed him or her, you may be surprised at what you hear. You’ll also learn how you can offer up additional support.
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When was the last time you felt sad?
Milada Vigerova, Unsplash
Likewise, if your partner lets you in and tells you what’s been hurtful and discouraging, you’ll get a sense of what’s truly important. What prompts tears? What feels significant enough to change a mood? By asking…and listening, you get a chance to learn.
If you could turn back the clock ten years, what would you tell your younger self?
This question offers your significant other a chance to assess and evaluate a decade of life, giving you a window into his or her regrets and wisdom gained. This can also start a conversation about moving forward with new information and insight.
Say you won an all-expense paid trip to anywhere in the world, and you can’t consult me before picking the destination. Where would you go?
Paua May, Unsplash
Find out what travel destinations are on your partner’s dream list. Couples who have spent a long time together will often be so used to asking each other about preferences that it’s easy to miss what each one likes. Let your partner know you care about what he or she wants.
If you had to pick three people, who would you say you most admire?
There’s a lot to be said for admiration. The people you highly regard are often the people you imitate — intentionally or not. Ask your partner who he or she looks up to and why. You’ll discover what qualities he or she values.
Hatham, Unsplash
The 10 ideas listed are merely the beginning for prompting meaningful conversations with your partner. Be curious. Ask questions. Invite discussion and keep learning. Continuing to discover each other is what helps your relationship feel alive and exciting year after year.
Hannah Cook, Unsplash
Wow! These are such great tips!
Thank you, Anne, for this illuminating article… ♥♥♥
Guest Blogger Bio
Anne Hancock, PsyD, is a prominent relationship therapist and founder of Wellness Counseling Center. A licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Hancock specializes in working with couples and families. She has a doctorate in Psychology and a master’s degree in Marriage and Family Therapy. Hancock always works from a wellness-oriented, non-pathologizing point of view — which means no blame, no shame. In addition to couples counseling services, Hancock also conducts personalized two-and-a-half-day couples intensives.
Hi, readers! I am beyond pleased to announce a very special post today on the I Love Romance Blog. In recent years, I asked both authors and romance readers to come to me with their responses to this big question: “What Does Romance Mean to Me?” I was genuinely interested in what made us all tick, what continued to draw us to the genre. Why do we love “love” so much? I wanted to dig deep to the heart of each person. And I’ve gotten some incredible feedback.
Without further ado, let’s turn the mic over to blogger The Smut Report, a female team with a few things to say about the question at hand.
What Does Romance Mean to Us?
At The Smut Report, we read a lot of romance novels. Like, a LOT of romance novels. And let’s be real – there’s a stereotype floating around that people who read romance novels have a skewed idea of romance and relationships. Obviously, we must be delusional spinsters or miserable sex-starved moms who expect men to read us poetry and/or fight monsters and/or know exactly what we want at all times.
Romance is also super oversimplified. There are pivotal life events like birth and death that, when addressed in literature, are considered really “deep” and vulnerable and raw. This non-genre fiction is lauded for its thoughtfulness and meaning. There’s a whole sub-genre dedicated to “coming of age” and all the inner turmoil that comes with that — but a genre whose sole purpose is to unpack the delicious, unsettling, sloppy moments leading up to individuals falling in love? That’s for unsatisfied housewives.
freestocks.org, Unsplash
Falling in love transforms individual people into something new, something with overlap and grey area and messiness. And strength. In romance we see people coming together to form a stronger whole, yet we also see how having the support of a loving partner can provide a wellspring of strength to an individual.
Ryan Jacobson, Unsplash
But before that can happen, all the messy feelings and social and personal obstacles must be resolved. There are new debates in the romance community every day about whether it’s romance if there’s no happy ending, if there’s no sex, if there’s this, or that, or the other thing. These arguments reflect this messy, sexy, grey area that exists in our lives when we love. This genre, maybe more than any other genre, asks us to be honest about what a satisfying life looks like. And it acknowledges that the answer is different for different people.
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Even though the three of us have somewhat divergent tastes (Erin likes heroes who ooze power, Holly prefers her books on the sexy side, Ingrid sometimes skips the sex scenes so she can get back to the witty banter), there are a few things that we all love in a romance novel. Far from creating unrealistic ideas of what romance is, the best romance novels feature satisfying portrayals of emotional connection. It makes us ask what pleasure looks like for YOU, what commitment looks like for YOU. You know, that extra spark that brings out the swooning romantic in the most jaded of us. (That would be Holly, in case you were wondering.)
Created by Senivpetro – Freepik.com
Romance can be just a fun, sexy romp or a swashbuckling adventure, but it can also bring you closer to yourself. It’s a safe way to examine romance in your own life–your likes, your dislikes, what you want to feel and how you want to be loved. You know it when you read it.
We recently went to an author talk in which Sarah MacLean said she loves the increased use of dirty talk in romance because it’s “ongoing consent”. How amazing is that? That there are authors looking for ways to make love scenes more clear, more unfettered, by making sure the consent is obvious AND beautifully done. This stuff matters.
Romance is a largely inclusive genre – and that’s important. The authors who write these books are constantly bursting open doors and welcoming more people in. It matters to have characters that look like real people and who love like real people do. Race, gender identity, sexual orientation–it’s all discussed in the romance literature written every day. Possibly there are not really people in love with shifters, we acknowledge (if there are, Erin would like to hear from you). But in all seriousness, there are so many different combinations of who loves whom (and how many love together) out in the world that it’s appropriate and necessary for such love to be reflected in our literature.
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And where reality fails us, we have the opportunity to explore the notion of romance in the “other” in paranormal, sci-fi, and other sub-genres of romance. The authors who are opening these doors and windows for us readers are also readers themselves, and we support each other. Romance creates community, even if we never speak directly to one another.
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In short, romance means a lot to us. It’s been a source of comfort and connection for us for decades. It’s made us think about things in different ways. It makes us test ourselves. It’s made us uncomfortable and angry and happy. We have literally cried and literally laughed so loudly that we’ve scared pets and woken sleeping children.
Ben White, Unsplash
Romance brings us joy. It’s as simple as that.
Lovely! I couldn’t have said it better myself… 😉
Thanks for stopping by with your fascinating guest post! Great to have you here! ♥
Guest Bio
The Smut Report is the brainchild of Erin, Holly, and Ingrid, three thirty-somethings who have been swapping smut books for twenty years. They’ve read a lot of smut and love the genre. They want to share their love of smut with people who already love to read romance, but also with people who are curious about the genre, yet are a little bit scared to dive right in. So, in order to further their goal of sharing the wonderful, witty, and downright weird corners of the world of smut with everyone they know, they started a blog, where they can chat about romance novels to their hearts’ content.
So, I put the question to you as a reader today as well. What does the word ‘romance’ really mean for you? Is romance a driving force in your life? How have your beliefs about romantic relationships informed your own relationships? Perhaps seeing other couples (parents or friends) were some kind of influence. By reading romance novels, does that help to reaffirm things for you?
If you’d like to participate in this special feature, please contact me at marieannlavender@gmail.com and I’ll schedule a spot for you. As you can tell from the schedule on the right hand side of the page, we usually get booked fast, but don’t hesitate to join in! You do not need to be a freelance writer or author, or even from a romantic themed organization. We want to hear from anyone. We’d love to get your take on how you feel about romance, and why you keep reading our books! ♥♥♥
Thanks again, The Smut Report, for giving us your take on what romance (and the book genre) has come to mean to you, plus some food for thought. Awesome! 😀
Readers, stay tuned for our next guest post when Dr. Anne Hancock visits ILRB on October 3rd! Yay! 🙂
Ever since I got engaged to my soul mate a few years ago, I’ve thought about the perfect locations for a wedding.
Sweet Ice Cream Photography, Unsplash
My fiancé and I have entertained big and small celebrations, anything from local to international ceremonies. And yes, most options tend to depend on the size of your wedding budget and the number of guests you intend on having.
Now, even though I’m a dreamer by nature, I am also a realist. That must be the Libra in me, weighing both sides! LOL. But in real life, I am much more likely to see the glass as half empty than remotely full. Lately, though, I have begun to see the benefits of taking an optimistic approach with some facets of life. Why not dream a little after all? What could it hurt?
Sharon McCutcheon, Unsplash
So if money was no issue, where might I choose for my wedding location? Well, I can’t pick one right now, but I will try to narrow down the regions a bit.
England
My familiarity with British TV shows and movies has always led to a fascination with areas ‘across the pond’, so to speak.
Benjamin Davies, Unsplash
A. London
Museum of the Moon
Located inside the Natural History Museum, this is a very modern event space which is only available from May to September. Looks like a cool place to hold a wedding reception, right? 😉
Natural History Museum – London
Sky Garden
With its stunning panoramic views, a wedding there is bound to be an unforgettable event.
One Marylbone
If you’re looking for an elegant place for a wedding and reception, this seems like a good choice.
Porchester Hall
This modern event space with different rooms is rather versatile, suitable for any type of occasion.
The Penthouse – Brick Lane
This private event space at a bowling alley might not seem like a great idea at first, but if you’re set on a casual yet intimate atmosphere, and aim to treat your guests to a lot of fun, it’s just perfect!
For London and its surrounding regions, Canvas Events is a great source for reserving a venue. You can even book Kensington Palace!
Wild, right? 😀
B. Castles/Manors
I have a weakness for historical romance novels, and I’ve always wanted to visit all the lovely castles in Europe. Let’s look at some fancy venues in England.
Hedsor House – a country house with an Italianate style on the Buckingham-Berskshire border, and set amongst 100 acres of historic parkland.
Hengrave Hall – a Tudor style mansion complete with great halls and elegant chambers in the Suffolk countryside.
Chiceley Hall – a Georgian country mansion, decked out in the Baroque style with 48 rooms, a restaurant and a bar.
Clevedon Hall – a huge wedding venue in Somerset, situated on seventeen acres and boasting 25 luxurious bedroom suites.
C. Hotels
Dumbleton Hall Hotel – a 19th century Cotswald stone manor house with nineteen acres of gardens and a private lake.
The Grand Hotel – located at Tynemouth, close to the beach with a clifftop overlook. It has quite a history, having been originally built as a home for the Duchess of Northumberland.
Matfen Hall Hotel – a 19th century country mansion in Northumberland, located on 300 acres of parkland. They recently added a newly refurbished wedding space.
The Lodore Falls Hotel – situated on the shores of Derwentwater in Borrowdale, Cumbria in Lake District National Park. The site has 40 acres of tranquil land with a waterfall and a lakeshore.
These are all great choices! Here are some other venues to discover in England.
Ireland
I have always been drawn to Irish mythology and Celtic music. So when I found out about two years ago that my great-grandfather was a full-blooded Irishman, it didn’t come as too much of a surprise that Ireland has been one of my top bucket list locations.
Patrick Metzdorf, Unsplash
A. The Cliffs of Moher
Despite my fear of heights, this vista, which spans about eight miles across the Irish coast, is just too amazing to pass up! So, why wouldn’t it be an interesting locale for a wedding?
Jesse Gardner, Unsplash
Hotel Doolin – Located in County Clare on the West Coast of Ireland and famous for its traditional Irish music, this contemporary hotel has spacious, modern rooms.
Let’s explore some other great wedding venues in Ireland.
B. Drenagh Estate – a 19th-century house, complete with a tree-lined driveway and richly wooded grounds.
C. Ballyfin – Set at the foot of the Slieve Bloom Mountains in the center of Ireland, Ballyfin is an exclusive luxury five star hotel, situated on 614 private acres of parkland with a 28 acre lake.
D. Dunluce Castle – This medieval castle is on a cliff overlooking the sea in Northern Ireland, and is arguably one of the best and most memorable castles in the country, despite its state of ruins. It isn’t surprising that visitors go for the dramatic views, and yes, some choose to have a wedding ceremony there.
E. Huntington Castle – a 17th century house situated on more than 160 acres of gardens, woodland and farmland. And you might even spot the occasional peacock or rooster!
F. Baily Lighthouse – On cliffs extending into Dublin Bay from Howth, this is one of Ireland’s most photographed lighthouses on the eastern coastline. The cliff walk/path appears to be stunning and quite a romantic adventure. It’s no wonder some have chosen to set their wedding locales in clear view of the lighthouse!
G. Ashford Castle (explore more wedding photos on the site here) – A medieval castle which was transformed into a five star luxury hotel, situated on 350 acres of parkland, this castle has always appealed to me. I’ve been getting their brochures for years, and I can’t deny the pull I have to it!
H. Adare Manor – Set on 840 acres, this neo-Gothic architectural masterpiece, once the family seat of the Earls of Dunraven, has been transformed into a five star hotel and golf resort. Such stunning views!
I. Castlemartyr Resort –The resort consists of a grand 17th century country manor house that sits adjacent to the ruins of an 800 year old castle. The five star hotel includes a 10 treatment room Spa and a luxurious golf course. With open meadows, manicured lawns and formal gardens, as well as a 24,400 square foot wellness, spa and fitness center, guests truly will want for nothing more.
J. Castle Leslie – One of the finest castle luxury estates in Ireland, set on 1000 private acres of rolling hills, parkland and lakes to explore…why wouldn’t this be an idyllic countryside, just perfect for a dream wedding?
K. Castle Durrow – an 18th century country house in the Irish midlands – just an hour from Dublin – which was transformed into a luxury castle hotel. Looking over the wedding gallery on the site, the location has such picturesque gardens, and it’s easy to see why couples have chosen this site again and again.
Stunning! Here’s hoping that I make it to Ireland someday! Fingers crossed! 😉
Disover this link with more information on wedding locations in Ireland.
New Zealand
Ömer Faruk Bekdemir, Unsplash
From bustling cities to dramatic mountainscapes to forests to scenic waterways, this country appears to have it all. At least everything you could want for a destination wedding. Here are some options, just to name a few.
A. The Lodge at Kauri Cliffs – Set on 6000 acres near Matauri Bay, The Lodge at Kauri Cliffs affords spectacular 180-degree views of the Pacific Ocean. Situated atop a cliff and overlooking three pristine private beaches, alongside offering the amenities of a serene spa and a golf course, as well as a hotel restaurant, numerous local activities, and spacious suites to stay in, you just can’t go wrong!
B. Huka Lodge – Regarded as one of the top luxury lodges in New Zealand, surrounded by seventeen acres of countryside on the banks of the Waikato River, the Huka Lodge features an outdoor swimming pool, a tennis court, free airport transportation and a hot tub. It has air-conditioned suites with a private terrace and lovely river views. It’s only a 10-minute walk to the famous Huka Falls. Sounds like a great place to visit!
C. Blanket Bay – Located on the beautiful shores of Lake Wakatipu on a 10,000 acre high country farm with quintessential South Island lake and mountain views, Blanket Bay Lodge offers guests a relaxing hot tub and rooms with stunning views. The staff at this luxury lodge in a majestic mountain setting can arrange mountain bike tours, jet boating and Milford Sound tours. What a perfect wedding or honeymoon retreat, right?
D. Annandale Coastal Farm Escape and Luxury Villa – In one of the world’s most spectacular coastal locations, this is a rare 4000-acre sheep and cattle farm which also offers exclusive use of four multi award winning luxury villas.
With such clear blue beauty, what couldn’t be better than this view during a wedding ceremony? ♥♥♥
tkelly8843496, Pixabay
Here are some locales for a destination wedding. I won’t go into much detail with each site from now on, as I think I’m starting to sound like a travel agent. LOL. I figure you can decide for yourself where you’d like to base your dream wedding, and if any of the pictures appeal to you.
A. East Bay Resort
B. Blue Haven Resort and Marina
C. Beach House
D. The Regent Palms
USA
Why not go for something more local? I have always dreamed of living by the ocean, so I wouldn’t mind a beach wedding in the U.S. either! 😉
Lauren Richmond, Unsplash
Especially if it’s a little easier to get to, here in my homeland. Hmm…let’s see what’s possible.
A. Florida
Jorge Vasconez, Unsplash
These are some venues in this beautiful, sunny locale.
Hollywood Beach – Marriott
Panama City Beach – Legacy By the Sea
Barefoot Hide A Way Grill
Miramar Beach –Sol Mate (vacation rental home which is sometimes used for a wedding venue)
Destin – Emerald Grande
Fort Walton Beach – Holiday Inn Resort
For more information on Florida venues, click here.
For more locations in North Carolina, explore this link.
G. Massachusetts
skeeze, Pixabay
South Yarmouth – Red Jacket Beach Resort & Spa
Mashpee – The Club at New Seabury & The Popponesset Inn
Provincetown – The Provincetown Inn
Dennisport – The Sea View
Corsair & Cross Rip Oceanfront Resort
Hyannis – Cape Codder Resort and Spa
North Falmouth – Sea Crest Beach Hotel
Nantucket – Galley Beach
Westcliff
Check out some more locations here for Massachusetts venues. And this is a link to additional sites in the U.S.
France
Oops, I almost forgot! Can’t overlook France. It’s breathtaking!
Augustin de Montesquiou, Unsplash
So…I’ve always wanted to visit Paris for a vacation, but if I was going for a wedding venue? Nah, I’d probably pick something more natural or unique. Perhaps a villa, castle, a vineyard, or even some lavender fields.
Provence – Chateau de Tourreau
Château d’Alphéran
Bastide St Mathieu
Loire Valley – Chateau de Jalesnes
La Chatellerie
Château de Chissay
Here is a link which includes more options in France.
Wow, lots of choices to go over!
Well, I hope I covered everything. Maybe this post sparked your own ideas for a dream wedding, huh?
Tyler Nix, Unsplash
So after all this, what place have we as a couple chosen for the big day? That will most likely depend on the date of the wedding and our budget for the event. Okay, so maybe I didn’t narrow them down all that much. I like to have some variety! 😉
I just hope this helped you in your own search. I’ll keep you informed of our decision, however…
As always, happy reading, and have a beautiful summer! 🙂
Host Blogger Bio
Multi-genre author of Victorian maritime romance/family saga, Heiresses in Love, and 20 other books. Reached the Top 10 Authors list on AuthorsDB.com for the last 4 years. Featured interview in the January 2018 issue of Womelle Magazine. BLOOD INSTINCTS reached TOP 10 status in the Romance category of the 2018 P&E Readers’ Poll. DIRECTIONS OF THE HEART reached the semi-finalist round in the 2018 AuthorsDB Book Cover Contest. Voted TOP BLOGGER for 2018 on the Romance Lives Forever Blog. TOP 20 Authors of 2018 on Amy’s Bookshelf Reviews blog. DIRECTIONS OF THE HEART was nominated and made it past the first round in the 2018 Author Academy Awards. UPON YOUR LOVE and THE MISSING PIECE placed in the TOP 10 on the 2017 P&E Readers’ Poll. DIRECTIONS OF THE HEART was nominated for the 2017 Reader’s Choice Awards. The I Love Romance Blog became a finalist in StartDating DK’s Romance Blog Awards of 2017. ILRB landed on Feedspot’s 2017 TOP 100 Novel Blogs and TOP 100 Romance Blogs. DIRECTIONS OF THE HEART placed in the TOP 10 Books of 2017 on Amy’s Bookshelf Reviews blog. TOP 20 Authors of 2017 on Amy’s Bookshelf Reviews blog. Mystery Blogger Award for 2017. A to Z Blog Challenge Survivor in 2016. March 2016 Empress of the Universe title – winner of the “Broken Heart” themed contest and the “I Love You” themed contest on Poetry Universe. SECOND CHANCE HEART and A LITTLE MAGICK placed in the TOP 10 on the 2015 P&E Readers’ Poll. Nominated in the TRR Readers’ Choice Awards for Winter 2015. Poetry winner of the 2015 PnPAuthors Contest. The Versatile Blogger Award for 2015. Honorable Mention in the 2014 BTS Red Carpet Book Awards. Finalist and Runner-up in the 2014 MARSocial’s Author of the Year Competition. Honorable mention in the January 2014 Reader’s Choice Award. Liebster Blogger Award for 2013, 2014 and 2016. 2013 and 2014 Amazon Bestseller Ranking for UPON YOUR RETURN. Winner of the Great One Liners Contest on the Directory of Published Authors.
Marie Lavender lives in the Midwest with her family and two cats. She has been writing for a little over twenty-five years. She has more works in progress than she can count on two hands. Since 2010, Marie has published 22 books in the genres of historical romance, contemporary romance, romantic suspense, paranormal romance, dramatic fiction, fantasy, science fiction, mystery/thriller, literary fiction and poetry. She writes adult fiction, as well as occasional stories for children, and has recently started some young adult fiction. She has also contributed to several anthologies. Her current published series are The Heiresses in Love Series, The Eternal Hearts Series, The Magick Series, The Code of Endhivar Series and The Blood at First Sight Series.
Let’s face it, dating in this digital era is getting a bit crazy. We are in a cultural shift where women have a lot more money and freedom than they used to have, all while traditionalism is still desired by many. So, how are modern women to navigate the madness? Here are 10 tips to help the single women out there:
Be Whole
Do not date with the expectation that there is someone else outside of you who will complete you. You are a complete person, and you should date like one. If you don’t feel fully complete then dating should not be your priority. You should take the time to focus on yourself becoming whole and happy.
Happy women always have a better dating life.
Be Open
One of the biggest reasons women are disappointed with their dating experiences is because they have so many expectations that cannot be met. In order to have better dating experiences, you have to be open. That means no expectations! Let the dates flow and enjoy the moment!
Stop “Husband Shopping”
“If you are one of these women who is searching for a husband, you are not dating, you are shopping. You are looking for a guy who fits some requirements you have created in your mind – a fantasy. Stop doing that. If you want to date, you need to understand the reality. Dating is taking time to get to know someone. That’s it. You give your time and in turn a man gives his time to you so that you both get to know each other.” – Date Like A Woman
Only accept dates from men who are genuinely interested in you
Clarisse Meyer, Unsplash
How can you tell that a man is genuinely interested? He will risk rejection. Ladies, if a man risks nothing, especially public rejection, he really isn’t that interested in you, period. You are just some woman to pass the time with. When a man is REALLY interested in you, he is going to make sure you know it even at the risk of being embarrassed. Because in his mind you are worth it. The men who risk something to ask you out, those are the men you should date. They are genuinely interested.
Date In Your Circle
When it comes to dating, there are many types of circles/leagues. However, your dating experiences are best when you date within your leagues/circles. I talk about dating circles more in-depth in my book. If you want to know what circles you are in, you should take a look at your own life. Chances are you spend time with those who are most similar to you. The men who are most similar to the folks you hang around are the men who are in your circles.
Pixabay, pexels.com
Why are dating experiences with men in your circle better? Because you have more in common and will have more to share and talk about.
Avoid online dating and dating men who only send you DMs
As I like to say, “shoot your shot in public so I know it’s real.” Men who only date online or shoot their shot in DMs lack either true interest in the woman or their ability to talk to women is lacking in some way. When a man is not genuinely interested in a woman, the dating experience is always subpar.
While online dating and DMs have made it easier for men to access women, especially men who are scared to speak to women in person, the increased access to women means there is a decreased chance of genuine interest. Of course, many people love to fight me on this point, stating that they either met their spouses online or know someone who has met a spouse online. Whenever this happens, I simply point out that the success rate for online dating is 5%. That means 95% (that’s ninety-five percent) of the time online dating does not work. On top of that, the online dating business is worth $2 billion dollars. Online dating sites make more money if they keep you single. So, if you are okay with that, then please, by all means, keep dating online.
Be more than a pretty package
Matthew T Rader, Unsplash
Focus less on how you look and more on who you are as a person when you date. “You must be more than just a pretty face. If you aren’t interesting, men are not going to be interested in you. You must be more than just a ‘wrapping.’ You have to give your date more than just an appearance. You have to give your date something to get to know.”’ – Date Like A Woman
Date more than one man at a time
If you are not in a relationship, you’re single. Act like it. DATE!
Huy Phan, Unsplash
Shanique Wright, Unsplash
Learn to let go
If a date doesn’t go the way you want it to, don’t sweat it. Letting go and moving on when things aren’t “right” is one of the key components to a great dating life.
Too right! Thank you, Kai, for giving us your impression of how to navigate dating in this modern age.
Well, readers, shall we take a look at the book on which her philosophy is based? Sounds like a plan! 😀
Great cover! 🙂
Here’s the blurb for Date Like a Woman:
Date Like A Woman (DLAW) is for the 21st century woman who is ready for a new narrative about dating, romance, sex and life! DLAW helps women move from fear to freedom. It offers practical dating advice, teaching women to navigate through the often challenging and daunting dating world, while countering the sexist, stereotypical and, frankly, stupid “instructions” spewed at women by self-professed male “dating experts.”
DLAW puts the FUN back into dating while also providing no-nonsense guidance that empowers and encourages women who have grown weary, been disappointed, and are still holding on to outmoded and unrealistic expectations about their dating choices. DLAW reminds women of their worth, helping them understand that they do not need to fit some antiquated model of being “accepted” or “chosen” by men.
For women who are so ready to sever the cord – quickly, forcefully and permanently – that has kept them bound by dangerous dogma and silly, sexist “thought leaders,” DLAW offers fresh, funny advice for discovering themselves, deciding what they really want, and enjoying dating!
♥♥♥ Ooh…love it! This looks like such a helpful read!
Thanks for stopping by with your fascinating guest post, Kai! Awesome to have you here! ♥
Author Bio
Published author, blogger and attorney Kai Nicole has emerged as an exciting and unique voice on dating and relationships. A graduate of Harvard University and Howard University School of Law, Kai’s professional experiences encompass diverse fields including legal, tech, and entertainment. She is a mother, world traveler, foodie, and lifestyle enthusiast.
Hi, readers! I am beyond pleased to announce a very special post today on ILRB. In recent years, I asked both authors and romance readers to come to me with their responses to this big question: “What Does Romance Mean to Me?” I was genuinely interested in what made us all tick, what continued to draw us to the genre. Why do we love “love” so much? I wanted to dig deep to the heart of each person. And I’ve gotten some incredible feedback.
Without further ado, let’s turn the mic over to author Lynn Chantale, who has a few things to say about the question at hand.
The Twelfth Wing
Romance does not come easy for me. If you’re looking for fancy words or deeds to make the heart melt or bring a tear to the eye, you’ve got the wrong woman. But you write romance, you say. Yes, I can appreciate a sentimental moment or gesture when it’s given.
For me, romance goes beyond flowers, cards, candy and trinkets. Those things are all nice but, they lost some of the awww factor.
Why? Divorce.
Recently, I gave dating another chance. This time I focused on Meetup groups. This has proven a lot more successful in finding a worthy candidate. In one of these meetings I met a gentleman with a great sense of humor, intelligent, and and has that strong, silent thing going on that romance authors like to create in their heroes.
GEORGE DESIPRIS, pexels.com
I’ve read many romance novels in various sub-genres, have written a few myself, but to meet someone who embodies my type of romance changed my somewhat jaded outlook on love.
Created by yanalya – freepik.com
Romance is so much more than making love at the end of a great date. It’s offering the twelfth wing, or the last slice of chocolate fudge cake. It’s opening doors, holding hands, or a single caress that says; “I am into you.”
In spite of an amicable divorce —I still love the stupid man— and with him getting engaged to a TTF (totally toxic female), I braved the dating world to find a POSiTive love interest.
Brett Jordan, Unsplash
Romance is not lowering your standards, but honoring yourself. When you’re true to who you are, you’re in a better position to receive the twelfth wing or the last slice of chocolate fudge cake. I know you’re probably wondering what the heck romance has to do with offering the last of something. It’s simple…I care about you enough to put your wants and needs above my own. I care for your happiness and well-being above mine. I consider your choice before I make mine.
Yeah, so simple a concept that it brought back the awww factor for me.
Briona Baker, Unsplash
Romance still needs consistent open, honest communication and quality time. With that comes the toe-curling, bed-breaking lovemaking at the end of a truly great date. And yes, when we’re together I’ll offer you the twelfth wing. But be honest in your answer, ‘cause if you say no, I’m going to eat the last piece. 🙂
Nice! How incredibly romantic. I couldn’t have said it better myself… 😉
Thanks for stopping by with your fascinating guest post, Lynn! Lovely to have you here! ♥
Guest Bio
Lynn Chantale, a romance novelist, short story writer, and part-time background singer, has published many stories across several genres. Her works include Sex, Lies, and Joysticks, The Contractor’s Baby, and The Pick-Up Wife, to name a few.
When she’s not taking over the world, she’s dominating her household, family, and her cat, Shakespeare. You can visit her at any of her cyber haunts.
So, I put the question to you as a reader today as well. What does the word ‘romance’ really mean for you? Is ‘romance’ a driving force in your life? How have your beliefs about romantic relationships informed your own relationships? Perhaps seeing other couples (parents or friends) were some kind of influence. By reading romance novels, does that help to reaffirm things for you?
If you’d like to participate in this special feature, please contact me at marieannlavender@gmail.com and I’ll schedule a spot for you. As you can tell from the schedule on the right hand side of the page, we get booked up fast, but don’t hesitate to join in! You do not need to be a writer or author. We want to hear from anyone. We’d love to get your take on how you feel about romance, and why you keep reading our books! ♥♥♥
Thanks again, Lynn, for giving us a peek into what romance means to you. Awesome! 😀
Readers, stay tuned for our next exclusive interview when author Dana Littlejohn visits us on July 23rd! Yay! 🙂
Immortalized in movie scenes when our hero and heroine exchange that first glimpse from across a room, love at first sight occupies a permanent place within the romantic lexicon. Nowadays, though, it’s called “instalust” or “instalove.”
Ryan Jacobson, Unsplash
Apparently, that’s more accurate or realistic.
I think it’s derogatory.
What man or woman doesn’t want to feel that moment of instant attraction, that wondrous lightning strike of knowing that he or she is “the One”? That sizzling realization that you’ve just met your one true love can and should knock you off your feet.
Does it happen?
Mohamed Hassan, Pixabay
In fiction, it happens all the time. Consider that ubiquitous fairy tale, Cinderella. The prince gazes across a sea of hopeful ladies to see the glittering beauty of an unknown woman. He rises from his chair, wades through the crowd, and takes the unknown beauty by the hand. They dance all night until the clock strikes midnight and she flees. The next day he goes in search of the woman who captured his interest with just a glance and then took his heart prisoner over a single evening. And he doesn’t even know her name.
Paranormal romance, especially in shifter and vampire romances, capitalizes on love at first sight, using the practically instantaneous attraction and mating instinct possessed by many animals. Our hero (usually a shifter) recognizes his mate (usually a human) and then spends the rest of the story persuading her that he’s going to love her and take care of her forever.
Leandro De Carvalho, Pixabay
I think that most people crave that sort of obsessive devotion, which is why the “love at first sight” trope endures in popularity. However, it has its dark side, too. In Deerskin by Robin McKinley, our heroine’s parents have that sort of single-minded focus upon each other until the heroine’s mother fears the ravages of age and her father transfers his insane focus on his own daughter. The daughter grows up mostly ignored until that creepy and awful transference of obsessive love: her parents cannot focus on anyone but each other. They have no love to spare for their own child.
The ideal of it … ah, doesn’t that make you shiver with the longing to have someone whom you love forsake all others to dedicate himself or herself to your happiness? The trope generally builds upon a man’s instinct to possess and protect, taking those instincts to psychotic levels. The trope generally demands obedience from the submissive in the relationship—usually the female. He takes care, she is cared for—until the tables are turned and she ministers to him.
Andre Furtado, pexels.com
Love at first sight hearkens to the ideal of mutual care, mutual benefit, mutual pleasure, mutual support. It takes the concept of a utopian community and applies it to the two-person community of a romance or the slightly larger group of a polyamorous relationship. It takes that idealized, interdependent caring and support and adds sexual attraction.
I love love at first sight. It’s a wonderful catalyst to jump-start a character-driven romance. It complies with my no-cheating requirement in romance and ensures commitment even when intimacy occurs before the ceremony.
Intriguing post ! Thank you, Holly, for giving us a peek into the advantages and disadvantages of the ‘love at first sight’ trope.
Well, readers, shall we take a peek at her paranormal romance? Sounds like a plan! 😀
Great cover! 🙂
This is the blurb for The Eagle at Dawn:
Rachel’s brother uses her as collateral to settle a debt with an outlaw motorcycle gang. She flees to a local bar and pleads with a darkly handsome stranger to help her. His help results in homicide. When eagle shifter Diego’s vacation is interrupted by the innocent young woman he recognizes as his mate, he flees with her across national borders because she’s his and he’s not letting her go.
Having essentially swapped one captor for another, Rachel knows the dashing, sexy Spaniard is keeping secrets from her. He showers her with kindness and generosity in exchange for her obedience. Diego’s control over her and his secrets elicit her distrust and resentment.
When freedom beckons, Rachel answers its call; however, freedom brings hardship and indignity. Will she return to the controlling alpha male who stirs her blood or cling stubbornly to her freedom?
Here is an excerpt.
Rachel awoke to dark liquid eyes staring at her and the gentle stroke of fingers over her cheek and along her jaw. She gasped and drew back, initially confused. Memory slammed into place and she took another deep breath.
“What is it?” she asked, realizing the absence of engine noise and the stillness of the aircraft.
“We’ve arrived, mi encantadora.”
She blinked and sat up, rolling her shoulders and stretching. Diego’s gaze sharpened and the small muscle at the base of his jaw clenched. His demeanor subtly changed from tender to ferocious and Rachel wondered what she’d done to anger him. As though realizing that he intimidated her, Diego pressed his full lips together in a thin line, closed his eyes in a long slow blink, and visibly relaxed his muscles.
He held out his hand and she took it, thinking he merely intended to help her up from the cot like the gentleman he claimed to be. However, he did not release her, but reeled her in so that her soft breasts pressed into his body and his heat easily penetrated her thin summer clothes. His other arm wrapped around her and clamped her against him. She inhaled again with sharp surprise at both the unexpected embrace and the surge of arousal that sparked low in her belly.
She swallowed, the sound audible, and blinked rapidly. “What’s going on?”
“Us,” he replied, his voice a husky murmur. Diego’s hand skimmed upward and cupped the back of her head, holding her in place and pressing her ear against his heart. The strong, steady beat thudded and calmed her nerves even as the enticing scent of him stirred her blood. She felt the soft waft of his breath over her hair and then the brush of his lips.
“Why did you kiss me?” she whispered.
“Because you’re not ready for more.”
Rachel gulped again. “What if I’m never ready for more?”
♥♥♥ Ooh…love the tension! This looks like quite a romantic read!
Thanks for stopping by with your fascinating guest post, Holly! Awesome to have you here! ♥
Author Bio
Holly Bargo lives with her husband on a southwest Ohio hobby farm with a menagerie of four-legged pets. Their two children are grown. Holly works full-time as a freelance writer and editor, and has published over 20 titles since 2014. She primarily writes fantasy and romance, often blending the two genres. Her latest release is The Eagle at Dawn, the fourth book in her Immortal Shifters series in which, yes, readers get to experience the effects of love at first sight. Holly enjoys hearing from and meeting readers. She will be at the 2019 Summer Book Fair in Springfield, Ohio. Contact her via the Hen House Publishing website.
"I have enough time to rest, but I don't have a minute to waste". Come and catch me with your wise words and we will have some fun with our words of wisdom.
D. Annandale Coastal Farm Escape and Luxury Villa – In one of the world’s most spectacular coastal locations, this is a rare 4000-acre sheep and cattle farm which also offers exclusive use of four multi award winning luxury villas.
Published author, blogger and attorney Kai Nicole has emerged as an exciting and unique voice on dating and relationships. A graduate of Harvard University and Howard University School of Law, Kai’s professional experiences encompass diverse fields including legal, tech, and entertainment. She is a mother, world traveler, foodie, and lifestyle enthusiast.
