Tag Archives: happiness

Special Feature: What Does Romance Mean to Me? by The Smut Report

Hi, readers! I am beyond pleased to announce a very special post today on the I Love Romance Blog. In recent years, I asked both authors and romance readers to come to me with their responses to this big question: “What Does Romance Mean to Me?” I was genuinely interested in what made us all tick, what continued to draw us to the genre. Why do we love “love” so much? I wanted to dig deep to the heart of each person. And I’ve gotten some incredible feedback.

Without further ado, let’s turn the mic over to blogger The Smut Report, a female team with a few things to say about the question at hand.

What Does Romance Mean to Us?

 

At The Smut Report, we read a lot of romance novels. Like, a LOT of romance novels. And let’s be real – there’s a stereotype floating around that people who read romance novels have a skewed idea of romance and relationships. Obviously, we must be delusional spinsters or miserable sex-starved moms who expect men to read us poetry and/or fight monsters and/or know exactly what we want at all times.

Romance is also super oversimplified. There are pivotal life events like birth and death that, when addressed in literature, are considered really “deep” and vulnerable and raw. This non-genre fiction is lauded for its thoughtfulness and meaning. There’s a whole sub-genre dedicated to “coming of age” and all the inner turmoil that comes with that — but a genre whose sole purpose is to unpack the delicious, unsettling, sloppy moments leading up to individuals falling in love? That’s for unsatisfied housewives.

freestocks.org, Unsplash

Falling in love transforms individual people into something new, something with overlap and grey area and messiness. And strength. In romance we see people coming together to form a stronger whole, yet we also see how having the support of a loving partner can provide a wellspring of strength to an individual.

Ryan Jacobson, Unsplash

But before that can happen, all the messy feelings and social and personal obstacles must be resolved. There are new debates in the romance community every day about whether it’s romance if there’s no happy ending, if there’s no sex, if there’s this, or that, or the other thing. These arguments reflect this messy, sexy, grey area that exists in our lives when we love. This genre, maybe more than any other genre, asks us to be honest about what a satisfying life looks like. And it acknowledges that the answer is different for different people.

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Even though the three of us have somewhat divergent tastes (Erin likes heroes who ooze power, Holly prefers her books on the sexy side, Ingrid sometimes skips the sex scenes so she can get back to the witty banter), there are a few things that we all love in a romance novel. Far from creating unrealistic ideas of what romance is, the best romance novels feature satisfying portrayals of emotional connection. It makes us ask what pleasure looks like for YOU, what commitment looks like for YOU. You know, that extra spark that brings out the swooning romantic in the most jaded of us. (That would be Holly, in case you were wondering.)

Created by Senivpetro – Freepik.com

Romance can be just a fun, sexy romp or a swashbuckling adventure, but it can also bring you closer to yourself. It’s a safe way to examine romance in your own life–your likes, your dislikes, what you want to feel and how you want to be loved. You know it when you read it.

Flower photo created by tirachard – http://www.freepik.com

We recently went to an author talk in which Sarah MacLean said she loves the increased use of dirty talk in romance because it’s “ongoing consent”. How amazing is that? That there are authors looking for ways to make love scenes more clear, more unfettered, by making sure the consent is obvious AND beautifully done. This stuff matters.

Romance is a largely inclusive genre – and that’s important. The authors who write these books are constantly bursting open doors and welcoming more people in. It matters to have characters that look like real people and who love like real people do. Race, gender identity, sexual orientation–it’s all discussed in the romance literature written every day. Possibly there are not really people in love with shifters, we acknowledge (if there are, Erin would like to hear from you). But in all seriousness, there are so many different combinations of who loves whom (and how many love together) out in the world that it’s appropriate and necessary for such love to be reflected in our literature.

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And where reality fails us, we have the opportunity to explore the notion of romance in the “other” in paranormal, sci-fi, and other sub-genres of romance. The authors who are opening these doors and windows for us readers are also readers themselves, and we support each other. Romance creates community, even if we never speak directly to one another.

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In short, romance means a lot to us. It’s been a source of comfort and connection for us for decades. It’s made us think about things in different ways. It makes us test ourselves. It’s made us uncomfortable and angry and happy. We have literally cried and literally laughed so loudly that we’ve scared pets and woken sleeping children.

Ben White, Unsplash

Romance brings us joy. It’s as simple as that.

Lovely! I couldn’t have said it better myself… 😉
Thanks for stopping by with your fascinating guest post! Great to have you here! ♥

Guest Bio

The Smut Report is the brainchild of Erin, Holly, and Ingrid, three thirty-somethings who have been swapping smut books for twenty years. They’ve read a lot of smut and love the genre. They want to share their love of smut with people who already love to read romance, but also with people who are curious about the genre, yet are a little bit scared to dive right in. So, in order to further their goal of sharing the wonderful, witty, and downright weird corners of the world of smut with everyone they know, they started a blog, where they can chat about romance novels to their hearts’ content.

Links

Website/Blog:  https://smutreport.com/

Facebook:  https://www.facebook.com/smutreport/

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/smutreport

Goodreads:  https://www.goodreads.com/user/show/91403885-smut-report

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/smutreport/

 

Wait, we’re not quite finished!

So, I put the question to you as a reader today as well. What does the word ‘romance’ really mean for you? Is romance a driving force in your life? How have your beliefs about romantic relationships informed your own relationships? Perhaps seeing other couples (parents or friends) were some kind of influence. By reading romance novels, does that help to reaffirm things for you?

If you’d like to participate in this special feature, please contact me at marieannlavender@gmail.com and I’ll schedule a spot for you. As you can tell from the schedule on the right hand side of the page, we usually get booked fast, but don’t hesitate to join in! You do not need to be a freelance writer or author, or even from a romantic themed organization. We want to hear from anyone. We’d love to get your take on how you feel about romance, and why you keep reading our books! ♥♥♥ 

Thanks again, The Smut Report, for giving us your take on what romance (and the book genre) has come to mean to you, plus some food for thought. Awesome! 😀

Readers, stay tuned for our next guest post when Dr. Anne Hancock visits ILRB on October 3rd! Yay! 🙂

Have a great weekend, everyone!

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Filed under Blogging, Books, Contemporary, Dating Tips, Event, feature, Fiction, Guest Writer, Hope, Love, Message, Readers, Relationships, Romance, romantic ideas, Special Feature, Stories, Writing

“A Lover’s Vow” – a poem

A Lover’s Vow

Well over ten years have passed…

Still every touch,

every word,

every look feels right.

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When you hold me close at the day’s end,

once all our obligations have subsided,

and I can at last rest against your chest as we talk softly,

you’re the only home I’ve ever wanted or needed.

Created by Freepik

It’s always been easy between us,

a cosmic thread dragging us toward each other.

Especially when life got in the way,

still we’re here.

Through long talks and silly spats,

laughing until we cry,

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wins and losses,

even personal heartaches,

our bond hasn’t changed.

It’s unbreakable,

just like the ever-flowing tides of the ocean.

Created by Kireyonok_Yuliya – Freepik.com

My love for you is steady and deep.

Attraction aside, I need you the way I require my next breath.

Your face,

your voice,

the heart that I crave,

completing our circle of hearts and minds as we explore the world together.

Created by Senivpetro – Freepik.com

We chose an eternal symbol to represent who we are…for plenty of reasons,

but I’d live whole lifetimes with you,

and perhaps we have before,

in past lives,

our souls connecting many times.

Everton Vila, Unsplash

Just know you mean everything to me,

and I yearn for the day I can proudly claim to be your wife.

Created by Freepic.diller – Freepik.com

Until the moment our hearts and hands become one,

I’ll keep praying for your smile,

your touch,

your laugh and every part of you,

Created by Freepik

as you continue to brighten each day of mine.

This is my vow…

 I will always be yours.

JD Mason, Unsplash

© Marie Lavender, 2018.

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Filed under Blogging, Hope, Love, love poem, Lovers Like Us, Marie Lavender, Message, poem, poems, Poetry, Readers, Relationships, Romance, Writing

Guest Poet Spotlight: D.L. Owens

Hi, readers! Now and then on the I Love Romance Blog, I recognize poets and their wonderful, romantic poems. Today D.L. Owens has stopped by to showcase some of her work for us.

I love poetry, almost as much as I love romance! It is music for my eyes, and a song in my heart. 🙂

poetry

Honestly, I spend quite a bit of time stalking poetry groups on Facebook just to see what my fellow writers are doing these days. And D.L is one talented poet!

So, hello, D.L! Welcome to ILRB! 🙂

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D.L. Owens: Hello! It’s a pleasure to be here, Marie.

Marie:  The honor is mine, believe me. Thank you for visiting us. We’re so glad you came to the I Love Romance Blog, where we get to talk about my favorite subject – love!

And how fitting is it that we have D.L. today to show us some of her love poems, especially this close to Valentine’s Day?

So, take it away, D.L., and give us a peek at what you’ve brought to thrill our romantic hearts…

 

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Poems by D.L. Owens

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Remind Me Again

Remind me again of how it use to be

When innocence was like being free

When laughter was sincere

When one could speak with no fear

Remind me again when a friend was a friend

When a sin was a sin

When holding hands meant a lot

When a hug hit the spot

Remind me when love was love

When long lasting emotions rose above

When kissing was something we missed

When talking was as soothing as a kiss

follow

Passions Following Me

So how does the journey began

With a stare, a hug, a kiss

Will the rainfall frame our passion

Or will passion frame love’s bliss

My lips stay ready

My eyes fixed on you

My body is sensing

You want me, too

Rendezvous to the woods

Far from others’ calls

Where obsession, caressing

Will live outside all walls

Love is in us, tracing us

Trying to find ways to connect

There is no lock, nor key

Just passion trying to unite you and me

passion

Passion Becoming Poetry

Do you desire to kiss these lips

Taste these lips

Do you long to hold my body in your arms

And let my passions inhale your charms

Love is flying high

And I am sprouting wings

Love is soaring through the sky

And making my passion sing

Heat is soaring low

Almost walking the streets

Melting love beneath guided feet

Warming the passion in our souls

Can you feel me trying to feel you

Can you hear my body talking to you

If yes is unanimous then come in, close the door

And let our love roar

marking

Marking the Heart

Looks are mostly deceiving

They are definitely appealing

Second looks worth stealing

But what is uncontrollably the binding

Is that everlasting feeling worth finding

The one that won’t ever leave you sighing

The sticker to the core of the hearts twining

The permanent glue that can never be pulled apart

The one that captures all of you from the very start

Leaving a stain, an embedded memory, a permanent mark

Just from lassoing your soul through the eyes of your heart

love

Love of My Life

he watched in remorse

as she walked away

her trailing fragrance

of Japanese honeysuckle

wrapping around his face

he was wishing his pride would die

so he would beg her to stay

instead of crying inside

he just watched her walk away

dreams

Dream Stalker

he’s in all my dreams

in all my life themes

i cannot inhale

enough of him

until his fingers

touched the long

of the back of my neck

soothing my heart

calming my breath

midnight

At Midnight

our bodies form deep shapes in the sand

he looks over, throws a kiss, takes my hand

wants to make love under the endless stars

while the blue milky sky ocean’s the dark

climbing waves wet soaks us, calms our heat

journeying us to retreat our rapid heartbeat

Alejandra Quiroz, Unsplash.

Alejandra Quiroz, Unsplash.

 

 

♥♥♥ Perfect, D.L.! So romantic! Thank you! ♥♥♥

Poet Bio

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D.L. Owens began writing poetry at the age of eight. She would write on anything she could get her hands on: toilet paper, card stock sleeves from her mother’s nylons, paper bags from the market even the palm of her hands. This went on for a while until one day her mother realized this was not a phase. This prompted the purchase of a manual typewriter which quickly became her best friend. Years later, when D.L. (Lulu) became a proud mother of a beautiful daughter, she switched gears and wrote children’s stories and poetry.

Her poetry is comprised of the tempers surrounding her, from a baby crying for her mother’s touch to a couple smiling at each while holding hands. Her longer pieces vent from everything engrossed in her mind and from her dreams pouring into the pages like a love story. This “moody writer” writes poetry of all sauces with love and romance as a part of it. However, when it comes to short stories, novellas and longer pieces she finds herself locked in a mixture of sci-fi, mystery, fantasy mixed with a taste of romance.

Her addiction to writing and painting takes up much of her time when she’s not spending it with family and friends. Lately, she has been creating illustrations for the books written for her daughter. When she’s not doing this she loves to cook, make greeting cards and take pictures of the glorious nature.

Poet Links

Twitter:  https://twitter.com/a_moody_poet

Amazon Author Page:  amazon.com/author/dlowens

iTunes:  https://itunes.apple.com/us/author/d.-l.-owens/id1126390032?mt=11

Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/a_moody_poet/

Pinterest:  https://www.pinterest.com/tHe_mOoDy_pOeT/

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Artwork/Illustrations:  https://www.instagram.com/a_moody_artist/

Artwork:  https://twitter.com/a_moody_artist

Photography:  https://www.instagram.com/a_moody_photographer/

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Books

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Once again, I want to thank our distinguished guest and poet, D.L. Owens, for stopping by the I Love Romance Blog!  It was such a pleasure to have you here! Readers, don’t forget to follow this wonderful poet’s work! 🙂

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Filed under Event, Guest Writer, Love, love poem, Message, poem, poems, Poetry, Readers, Romance, Writing

My Romantic Thought of the Day 42

Why not go for a surprise kiss today?  Plant a random one on your significant other and see what happens.  You may thank me!  😉

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https://twitter.com/marielavender1/status/530100715142643713

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My Romantic Thought of the Day 41

Even scary couples need love…

5e4

https://twitter.com/marielavender1/status/528251690416635905

Happy Halloween, everyone!

Glowing_Pumpkin

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My Romantic Thought of the Day 40

When you are far away,you can’t imagine how much I want and need you.

womanthinking

https://twitter.com/marielavender1/status/524326004995543040

 

 

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My Romantic Thought of the Day 39

When you’re away from me, all I can do is think of you.

rose-petals

https://twitter.com/marielavender1/status/514525842672599040

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My Romantic Thought of the Day 38

When you’re in the arms of the one you love, there’s no better place on earth.

suzestankovska - photobucketJPG

https://twitter.com/marielavender1/status/506165491522494464

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My Romantic Thought of the Day 37

Home is with the one you love.

suzanastankovska - photobucket - 2

https://twitter.com/marielavender1/status/505079531065982976

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My Romantic Thought of the Day 35

Being with you is so right that I just can’t imagine not having met you.

couple-silhouette-1600x900-1600x600

https://twitter.com/marielavender1/status/496024701617991680

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